The Quiet Room by Lori Schiller and Amanda Bennett is a memoir about Lori Schiller dealing with schizo-affective disorder, a form of schizoid personality diorder.
"In a burst of rage, I grabbed a nearby golf club and began to beat the dog furiously. At first he barked hysterically. But because of the chain, he could not escape. He began to foam at the mouth. As I beat him, one by one his legs collapsed. he kept struggling to rise, but I wouldn't let him. I kept hitting him, and hitting him, and hitting him. He fell to the ground. Then he stopped barking. His body writhed in horrible spasms, blood dribbling from his ears and mouth. After a while he stopped moving. Dead. But there is one big problem with this memory: It isn't true. It never happened".
Lori believes that she had killed the family pet with a golf club one hot day because she became very angry. She describes in great detail how she did it, and confesses that she feels very guilty for doing such a thing. Her family tells her that they never had a big black dog, but rather a small golden dog that died of cancer.
For many people who suffer from schizoid personality disorder, they have many hallucinations, and their memories become infected. They can believe that something happened when it did not.
"At 8pm., patient had episode of severe auditory hallucinations coupled with intense psychomotor agitation: She was writhing, forcefully grimacing, holding her hands to her ears, shaking her feet repeatedly, and seemed nearly oblivious to external stimuli. This episode lasted about ten minutes. After it subsided, she was initially guarded about what happened, but later did admit to auditory hallucinations, and to feeling that she must 'fight' the voices when they occur, and that discussing them makes them more difficult to 'fight'".
When Lori was attmitted to the short term hospital for the first time she had many full blown episodes of destroying things becuase she could not control the Voices in her head. She had to have a nurse constantly at her side to monitor her. The nusre notices that she is extremly tramatized by her Voices, and when she tries to get Lori to talk to her about them, Lori claims that they would kill her if she did.
People suffering from this disease believe that no one can help them and they feel ashamed of themselves for thinking certain thoughts and try to repress the voices in order to forget them.
" Dr. Diane Fischer, my new therapist, was trying to kill me. I knew it from the moment I saw her. The Voices only confirmed it. Something about this doctor terrified me. All the way down two flights of stairs to the main floor to her office, the Voices warned me against her. All my senses went on alert, as I struggled to stay in control, to watch her, to protect myself against whatever she was trying to do to me. I didn't believe what the Voices told me about Dr Doller; I did believe everything they said about Dr. Fischer. Everything they said was one hundred percent true. She was going to kill me because she found me so repulsive. I was a fat, disgusting, ugly tub of lard, and I deserved to die."
Lori has been admitted to a long term hospital for the second time and came to terms that she was ill. She agreed on meeting a therapist every day for one hour. Lori forms a special bond with Dr. Doller almost immediatly because she was in all the previous hospitals that Lori was admitted. However, when she meets Dr. Fischer, Lori becomes paranoid that she wants to kill her. She starts to miss meetings and insisits that a male nurse be there at the meetings to protect herself and the doctor.
A common symptom of schizoid personality disorder is not being able to trust people and shy away from them.
"We didn't believe that medication was the key...Instead, we concentrated our efforts on getting inside the heads of our patients. Many other treatments focused on using medication to alleviate the psychotic symptoms. "
Dr. Doller was a strong believer in pyscotherapy instead of drugs for Lori. Although Lori did have to take many drugs to keep her moods stable and to muffle the Voices, the therapy helped Lori the most. She learned how to express her emotions safely and was able to start forming bonds with people.
Many doctors believe that therapy is better than drugs for the sheer reason of helping the person overcome the disease (although it can never be cured) and being able to manage their life effectively.
Analysis: This book was very well written. It shows a glimpse of the world of someone who is suffering from a schizoid personality disorder, and how hard it is to deal with the disorder. Many times Lori had fallen in her progress to recovery by taking street drugs, overdosing, trying to kill herself, and not taking her drugs. When Lori had finally come to terms that she was very ill, she made a huge effort to get better. She was told that she would never be the same girl she was before she heard the Voices, but she would be able to control them, and live life free. Through her struggle, Lori finally succeeded. She has now been out of the hospital for over four years living by herself, something she thought would never be possible. She talks to people about her disease and helps people dealing with the disease also.
"In a burst of rage, I grabbed a nearby golf club and began to beat the dog furiously. At first he barked hysterically. But because of the chain, he could not escape. He began to foam at the mouth. As I beat him, one by one his legs collapsed. he kept struggling to rise, but I wouldn't let him. I kept hitting him, and hitting him, and hitting him. He fell to the ground. Then he stopped barking. His body writhed in horrible spasms, blood dribbling from his ears and mouth. After a while he stopped moving. Dead. But there is one big problem with this memory: It isn't true. It never happened".
Lori believes that she had killed the family pet with a golf club one hot day because she became very angry. She describes in great detail how she did it, and confesses that she feels very guilty for doing such a thing. Her family tells her that they never had a big black dog, but rather a small golden dog that died of cancer.
For many people who suffer from schizoid personality disorder, they have many hallucinations, and their memories become infected. They can believe that something happened when it did not.
"At 8pm., patient had episode of severe auditory hallucinations coupled with intense psychomotor agitation: She was writhing, forcefully grimacing, holding her hands to her ears, shaking her feet repeatedly, and seemed nearly oblivious to external stimuli. This episode lasted about ten minutes. After it subsided, she was initially guarded about what happened, but later did admit to auditory hallucinations, and to feeling that she must 'fight' the voices when they occur, and that discussing them makes them more difficult to 'fight'".
When Lori was attmitted to the short term hospital for the first time she had many full blown episodes of destroying things becuase she could not control the Voices in her head. She had to have a nurse constantly at her side to monitor her. The nusre notices that she is extremly tramatized by her Voices, and when she tries to get Lori to talk to her about them, Lori claims that they would kill her if she did.
People suffering from this disease believe that no one can help them and they feel ashamed of themselves for thinking certain thoughts and try to repress the voices in order to forget them.
" Dr. Diane Fischer, my new therapist, was trying to kill me. I knew it from the moment I saw her. The Voices only confirmed it. Something about this doctor terrified me. All the way down two flights of stairs to the main floor to her office, the Voices warned me against her. All my senses went on alert, as I struggled to stay in control, to watch her, to protect myself against whatever she was trying to do to me. I didn't believe what the Voices told me about Dr Doller; I did believe everything they said about Dr. Fischer. Everything they said was one hundred percent true. She was going to kill me because she found me so repulsive. I was a fat, disgusting, ugly tub of lard, and I deserved to die."
Lori has been admitted to a long term hospital for the second time and came to terms that she was ill. She agreed on meeting a therapist every day for one hour. Lori forms a special bond with Dr. Doller almost immediatly because she was in all the previous hospitals that Lori was admitted. However, when she meets Dr. Fischer, Lori becomes paranoid that she wants to kill her. She starts to miss meetings and insisits that a male nurse be there at the meetings to protect herself and the doctor.
A common symptom of schizoid personality disorder is not being able to trust people and shy away from them.
"We didn't believe that medication was the key...Instead, we concentrated our efforts on getting inside the heads of our patients. Many other treatments focused on using medication to alleviate the psychotic symptoms. "
Dr. Doller was a strong believer in pyscotherapy instead of drugs for Lori. Although Lori did have to take many drugs to keep her moods stable and to muffle the Voices, the therapy helped Lori the most. She learned how to express her emotions safely and was able to start forming bonds with people.
Many doctors believe that therapy is better than drugs for the sheer reason of helping the person overcome the disease (although it can never be cured) and being able to manage their life effectively.
Analysis: This book was very well written. It shows a glimpse of the world of someone who is suffering from a schizoid personality disorder, and how hard it is to deal with the disorder. Many times Lori had fallen in her progress to recovery by taking street drugs, overdosing, trying to kill herself, and not taking her drugs. When Lori had finally come to terms that she was very ill, she made a huge effort to get better. She was told that she would never be the same girl she was before she heard the Voices, but she would be able to control them, and live life free. Through her struggle, Lori finally succeeded. She has now been out of the hospital for over four years living by herself, something she thought would never be possible. She talks to people about her disease and helps people dealing with the disease also.